The greatest figures of our faith were single: Jesus and Paul. The ancient church was born in a time of a
sexually sensitized culture. Male and
female prostitutes worked in the temples of Corinth. Homosexuality was common. Various ascetic groups taught against
marriage.
Epicurus stated, “The wise man will not fall in love… [and]
will not marry and raise a family.
Occasionally, he will marry owing to special circumstances in his life.”
(p. 21, “Single” Harold Ivan Smith)
Recognized church leaders of the past had negative views of
marriage. Ambrose remarked, “Married
people ought to blush when they consider the lives they live.” Jerome suggested that a married man who loved
his wife too much was an adulterer (presumably to Christ). Aquinas is said to have marked two levels of
morality…the high road of celibacy and the low road for marriage. In days past, married couples were told to
be abstinent three days before communion.
Eventually, the clergy were to be celibate (p. 22-23, “Single”).
The Reformation changed a lot of thinking on singleness and
marriage.
For example, singles became less preferred in early American
history. Some colonies only granted land
to married men. Maryland taxed single
men.
Jesus spoke of the value of singleness in a different way. It wasn’t a punishment or a way to achieve
grace from Heaven.
Singleness is often viewed as something that is not quite
“grown-up,” desirable or normal.
Singleness has many advantages. The Bible identifies several.
1. Much can be done for “the sake of the kingdom”
as a single.
Matthew 19:12 “For there are eunuchs who have been so from
birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are
eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.
Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
2. The pressures
of the world are difficult for married couples and couples with children.
The Apostle Paul lived in a world without single adult
groups. Like much of our world, Paul’s
world was marriage-focused. People had
many children. Yet, Paul placed
singleness on par with marriage. He made
it clear that neither state is better than the other.
1 Corinthians 7:25-26 Now concerning the betrothed (virgins),
I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the
Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it
is good for a person to remain as he is.
Paul referred to “the present distress.” Generally, this suggests great conflict
between the Christian life and an evil world.
Specifically, this may have referred to persecution.
Persecution is difficult for a single person, but the
problems of following Jesus are often multiplied for a person who is married
and/or has children.
3. Fear and security sometimes preoccupy the
minds of married couples and/or those who have children.
1 Corinthians 7:27-28 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek
to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do
marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not
sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you
that.
Why would Paul have asked singles to remain single?
Paul speaks practically.
He talks about the limitations that come with marriage. “Worldly
troubles” or “trouble in this life.”
When two people are bound in matrimony, the problems of human nature are
multiplied.
Marriage can be very rewarding.
4. Marriage solves some problems, but creates
others.
Lust is an issue that can be helped by marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot exercise self-control,
they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
However, marriage is about connecting two families
together. Marriage cannot solve all
emotional, physical, or spiritual issues.
Some things are made worse by marriage.
5. Singleness can be lived out with contentment.
This world is passing away.
In Heaven we will not marry nor be given in marriage.
Matthew 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor
are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
Paul wrote of his own general contentment in this life.
Philippians 4:12 I know how to be brought low, and I know
how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of
facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
I have no doubt that Paul’s contentment was in spite of a
lot of painful circumstances (2 Corinthians 11:23-28). Paul, indeed, had “learned” the secret of
contentment.
I have no doubt that singleness has moments of anguish just
as married life does. The loss of a job,
the death of a mother or father, a relationship problem …these things are
processed a little differently by singles.
Sometimes singleness is very difficult.
Healthy marriages are usually built upon the foundation of
contented singles.
A person’s spiritual
growth is based upon their relationship to Jesus Christ, not their marital
status.
Paul said something profound.
Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is
gain